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Haven't Got That Far

by Middle Aged Overdose

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1.
Kbye 02:48
Sorry that I gave up on you, I don't know what I'm supposed to do in this situation, always covered with procrastination, I don't really know what to do with myself half of the time, Just trying to rhyme every line with the last thing that I said, Even though I'm always wishing I was dead, It's always my fault, Everything that I never want to talk about, Is on repeat in my head, And every rotten word that you forgot to say, I'm not sorry, I'll never worry, About where you're at, Or who you're with, I'll just continue being a piece of shit.
2.
Spontaneous 04:00
I keep sleeping in until the last minute, Calling me a waste of time is way too accurate, I just surrender every time someone calls me out, I'll never know what my delayed reaction was all about, I lash out like a child, Spontaneous and wild, And a total lack of common sense, But I swear to god I'm not that dense, But when it comes to wasting your life away, You'll wish you, wish you, wish you, wish you found, Your escape, It's like my past life's the gun, And the bullets are everything that was left undone, I finally came to terms with who I was, And I refuse to fade out like the buzz, Like everybody else does.
3.
Dancing alone, never felt so at home, I know I'm my own, Disgusting monster I've shown, But I'll just be on my way, Nervously bailing just about everyday, Just to get some head space, Get out of this hole and find my place, But it gets foggier as I move on, I only feel awake without the sun, Cause the Moon is such better company, It doesn't just shine light on all the flaws in me, It dimly accepts me as I am, That nonchalant love you could never stand, But it's all I get for being a reject, Treating you with respect, The love that you could never accept, Cause I was never what you were looking for, This is so much more fucked up than it was before, All that time spent thinking myself through, Now I'm stuck here just thinking about you, But I guess there could be a bright side to this disease, I finally see, What's fucked up inside of me, I fall in love too easily, Giving everyone a piece of the best of me, which isn't all it's cracked up to be, I lack motivation, and positive energy.
4.
Puzzles 03:26
I tried to be the pieces you thought got left behind, But as a result of my actions, I'm the one that's not on your mind, As I sit, In my hopeless rage, I wonder why, I let myself, Get caught back, In this cage, It was when I was wrapped around your finger, You put my heart, inside, that guns chamber, And as I lingered, I forced you to pull the trigger on me, But that's okay I tend to instantly overstay my welcome, Feeling like the black sheep in every situation, But I refuse to be anything like you, I can't follow these morales like you do, Diving way too deep head first, Help me find someone to lift this curse, I'm just the worst It was when I was wrapped around your finger, You put my heart, inside, that guns chamber, And as I lingered, I forced you to pull the trigger on me, But that's okay
5.
Why am I so hard on myself? Thought I left most of you on the shelf, And in the dust you'll find your memory, But I plan on cleaning it all back up, As soon as I get home, But now you're all alone but no for long, You're always singing the same damn song, Over and over, Constantly giving me the cold shoulder, But that's alright, you said fight or flight, So I walk straight out the door, To find something I thought was so much more, But what I found was just a lie, Every single fucking time, It goes around it comes back again, This is the end, by why not mend, What we had, It never meant much to you, Was everything to me, But maybe thats just my fucked up train of thought, Sorry for bringing this all back up, I don't know what you could learn, About truly being burned, I don't know, Maybe trust your instincts, Instead of stiff drinks, I know you I think I'm better than you, But I'm not, I'm just a loner, Petty stoner, Smoking away my memories of you, But I want to be alone most of the time, Most of the time, most of the time, There's beauty in sadness, that's a fact, That's a fact, that's a fact, and I'm not looking back, And you'd be better off if you decided to, Not call me Back.
6.
Mongo 05:44
I always end up, past out in my room, whenever I give into, the doom and gloom, All over me, I'm sick in the head can't you see, If only I could just love myself, and stop caring about the me who was cut in half, now my actions just scream selfishness, while my insides rot into the eternal abyss, This is my 22 year old, train of thought, never even really satisfied with what I got, This is not a sinister plot, the worst I'll do, Is probably smoke some pot, I never really had a lot, But I brought on all I get, Guess I could use another shot, Cause this is all I got, Killing brain cells, by holding my breath, Cause I find comfort, In being close to death, But not in a suicidal way, I just love what misery always has to say, But I won't give up the fight, Even though I dwell every night, On the life I could've had, before I cut my soul in half, Now I'm too empty to feel anything, Still can't believe this is really happening, How could it happen to me?

about

An album about hating yourself and trying to find ways to change that.

credits

released February 22, 2019

Recorded Mixed and Mastered By: Andrew Pentecost

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Middle Aged Overdose Madison, Wisconsin

We are a punk/grunge band from Madison, Wisconsin, consisting of: Dakota Poff - Guitar
Eli Nysted - Drums
Will Maze - Bass
Luke Ferkovich - Guitar/Vocals

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